My beautiful new family!
How blessed I am!
Over the last year, things that eluded me for over a decade all happened at once. I got married to my beautiful soul mate Ying at the beginning of the year and my new son Ethann Xin Xing was born in the summer and is growing healthily.
Getting here was not without extreme challenges and near impossible decisions as you may gather from my previous blog posts. Before all this happened, I used to have dreams that I was forced to jump off a cliff that would surely mean certain death, and after much pondering, I decided I had no choice but to jump, or die anyway, and somehow, I always managed to land on a tiny rock amongst the steep cliffs, keeping my balance and barely surviving. I think this reflected my feeling of hopelessness and having lost myself to unfortunate circumstances, not being able to make important decisions that allowed me to heal and progress. I was not longer who I was meant to be, moving backwards instead of forwards. Yet, if I could make the impossible leap, I would still survive, and progress.
The difficult decisions in life are like that, you need to decide to do something that is not only extremely risky, but seems almost impossible to escape a life of sadness, suffering, or at the very least, far short of it’s full potential.
In order to be able to make these difficult decisions, It required inspiration from others who helped me see what I was in denial about, and also see how life should be. It was also the result of a lot of prayer, reflection, soul searching, and self improvement. There is no doubt that I would not have met my wife if not for specific prayers, and a willingness to respond to a calling or instinct if you will, driving me to make choices I normally wouldn’t make. My wife would probably tell you the same thing.
Although our relationship developed quite smoothly and naturally with ease, getting to that point definitely took a lot of effort. Very well worth it as you can see.
Shortly before I met my wife, I had lost hope and felt after all I had been through, the chances of a happy life and family were too elusive and daunting. Faith changed all that. Despite all the odds against you and no hope in sight, faith gives you the little push not to give up, and willingness to listen to instinct. If you’re connected with your soul and to God, this, I believe, is God speaking to you. If you’re not, it’s your ego influencing you, and maybe it is the one in control of your life which makes it almost impossible to make the right decisions.
I feel blessed I was able to not give up and make some difficult decisions.